Good day everyone!

Im backed! But this time I would just want to pen down my feelings at this moment in my life.
Recently, I made many a mistakes, I realised alot of things about myself as well.

I realised that when mistakes are made, sometimes it is hard for one to get back up. But u need the support from ppl around you to lift u up together, and im glad to say that i have my girlfriend by my side.

secondly, I also realised that I never wanted to lose in anything my entire life, but I knew I had enough. I never knew that I was never satisfied until now, I always want to win in every single thing I do. Regardless of whether it is something I deemed as important or I do not deemed it as important, my mind will tell me I need to win this. I realised I never use "I" in any circumstances, but rather I used "we" in my mind. I was doing what I presume what everyone will think is good.

At this juncture in my life, I feel great. I finally failed. Failed one of my module, I always thought to fail was a difficult thing to achieve. But it was easier than I thought, the moment I knew I dont feel anything when I failed, I knew I had let go that burden to always want to keep winning. It drains me of energy, making me a seemingly restless person.

Lets quote an example, do you realise when you play a simple game like the Bejewel in facebook, you will want to be the top of the chart and spend endless amount of time trying to beat ur next highest score. I realised I do and its not because I enjoyed the game, I just want to keep challenging myself further. At this moment, I realised what I feared to do in the past, I can now do it very easily to my girlfriend, the need to hug someone when I feel down, I suppressed that feeling or motion just simply because my upbringing wasnt meant to be taught this manner. A simple little hug can mean so much more, A simple Thank You from people can goes a long way, I always thought a simple gesture would suffice, but I guessed its just everyone have their own thinking and own mindset.

I knew I have to jot this down somewhere, and this is where I have chosen to do it. I certainly hope in the future I will remember it.

Labels: Feelings

posted by ×~.[[K|mZ]]™.~× at 11:40 PM [edit]